trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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