I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
