we're chasing vodka with high fives
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
