How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I have aggressive nipples.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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