Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
