Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
