i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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