every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
