i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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