The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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