Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
