bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
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