It's like God shit irony all over that family
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
