in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize