Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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