you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
