cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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