Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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