there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
