Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
