HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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