What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
