You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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