puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
