Just cropdusted the office
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
