there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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