K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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