You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
