Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
