I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
