There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
