Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
should my penis look like a turkey
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
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