Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
