People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
where are my pants?
in the oven.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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