Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
