i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
