Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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