Porn is love you can see.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
