i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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