margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
