I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
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