did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
