there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
