i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
