Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
