What did we do last night that was yellow?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize