I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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