with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
