can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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