i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize