Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
