this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
