Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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