i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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