so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
