I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Randomize
