I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
