Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
