Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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